I did a ten minute mediation all about worrying. Should I have meditated about this longer? Was that too long?
Is this useful?
Actually that last bit is useful. Worry isn’t in itself a bad thing, it can motivate me to do the stuff I need to get done. But once I fall into the trap of mindless worry over things I simply can’t control, like the past and most of the future…bah…
Case in point. I’ve been nominated for a position that will be a considerable challenge. I’m not a shoo-in by any means. The chances are actually pretty slim that I’ll be selected and that’s really fine with me.
Today I had to fill out the resume that will form the basis for the selection. It’s short, and having been one of the people who has selected others for this post, short is good. I think I did any okay job filling it out. At least I was truthful.
So here’s the thing. I will not know anything about this until April. Nothing. Not a word. Nada.
At that time I will either be selected or it will go to someone else more qualified.
But I’ve now got some five months to worry about whether I’ll get the position or not. What it will mean if I do. What it will mean if I don’t. How will I feel if…
Is this useful?
Nope, not a bit. The time for any worry has passed with my turning in the resume. I suppose it was somewhat useful to worry a bit and fret over what to put on the resume, but now? Not useful.
It may be there a couple of things I should do to prepare in case I’m selected. Updating my passport seems in order, not that we are going anywhere soon. But I need to do that anyway, so why worry? Just do it.
See what I mean? Not really useful.
I really have to thank Joseph Goldstein for the idea of checking on the usefulness of my worry. Not that he told me about this directly; I got it secondhand from my meditation app.
The meditation was good. I’m not free from worry. But for how long? When will it come back? What will I worry about next? Argh! All for now!